Eldonisms

[Matt Burger]

Let's face it: Sometimes Eldon says things that are just flat out funny, witty, encouraging, etc.

I'm starting this as a way of paying tribute to our Great Canadian brother so that he knows we love him dearly. :)

INSTRUCTIONS: Simply add NEW, ORIGINAL material from Eldon. Keep it in good spirits and good taste. Feel free to paraphrase if you can't remember the exact quote.

[Joey Aszterbaum]

"Whoa! That's some serious Shalom!"

[Matt Burger]

"I just had some fun on the Internet this week." [pause, pause...wait for it...] "Some GOOD fun!"

[Matt Burger]

"Shalom! Shalom! Shalom! So we should be shaloming."

[Matt Burger]

"You think gas prices are bad? What's going on with cereal is WRONG!!!"

(And we all know what happens when Eldon doesn't get his Wheaties. Or his meds.)

[Joey Aszterbaum]

"I'm gonna take you into the alley and give you some Hebrew Bible lessons."
- Eldon on how the first-century Jewish people felt about tax collectors

[Joey Aszterbaum]

"We need to put on our Nike shoes and our Nike shirt and just love all over people!"

I'm thinking Eldon got paid $635 by Nike for this single comment.

[Marji Parrish]

Eldon you are funny...yet I find you mind stimulating in regards to so many things...you and your family always make me smile!! Thank you for picking our street to move onto...it has been a blessing for me and our family!! Keep up the good work!!:)

[Matt Burger]

"Most people want to call a 'whaaa'mbulance, but they don't want to get in and get treated."

[Matt Burger]

"Call whine-one-one"

[Joey Aszterbaum]

"These don't give you warm teddy bears and send you home with goosebumps."

"This country, Babylon, will make you into baloney."

"They don't give a rat's rectum..."

"Hi, I'm Eldon, and I'm a zipperhead."

..................seriously, what is Eldon smoking before he comes to church?

[Matt Burger]

"I'm so scared [to skateboard] I deployed my airbag early."

[Matt Burger]

"I watch my weight; I got it right here in front of me everyday."

"This little piggy ran into a demon."

"Right now the milk I drank is being processed. In about fifteen minutes it's going to be..." [pause, pause, wait for it...] "used up."